Just me thinking...

Tonight I am tired.

Today was one of those days. The twins absolutely refused to take an afternoon nap, resorting to whining, chatting, and playing with one another instead. And rest time wasn’t so restful for the older three, as they were too busy getting into eachother’s beds and playing away, instead of being quiet in their own beds. Because of this, they were denied the privilege of watching a late afternoon video. (Which honestly, sometimes I think is more of a punishment for me, but oh well. Being denied that privilege definitely brings the remorse... and tears from the kiddos!) So, I had 5 whiny, fussy, and grumpy kids to spend the afternoon/evening with. At one time, I had three fussy little ones on my lap (not including the one in my tummy) all at the same time. I definitely had to rely on Him for patience, because all I wanted to do was put on my coat and shoes and get out of the apartment and lock the door behind me! (Don’t worry. I would never do that. I’d call David before I’d get that desperate. =D) I do love those kiddos. It was just a l-o-n-g afternoon... one that leaves me feeling like a terrible mom by the end of the day.

Our minds have been very full lately as well. I don’t write much here at all concerning our upcoming move to Germany and all the changes that are and will be taking place in our near future. I guess because it’s just too difficult to put my/our thoughts into words, and perhaps because I fear that I will miscommunicate something and be misunderstood. I’ll just say that all of this is definitely quite difficult for us. No, we aren’t second-guessing the decision we have made. We keep coming back to the conclusion that we are doing what we are supposed to do at this time. But that doesn’t make it easy.

Contrary to what some may think, we are not “itching” to get to the west, where things are perhaps “more comfortable” or even considered “easier”. Although the thought of being able to ‘stay put’ for longer than a couple of years and possibly having a bigger apartment/house with a small backyard does sound appealing, that’s not why we are returning. Not at all. In fact, in some ways, we think it’s a bit easier to raise a family here than in the west. We also have quite a bit of worries/fears concerning how things will be, but we rest in knowing that we don’t need to know everything... and we are not supposed to worry or fear! I’m so thankful for Him.

I guess I’m just rambling. I better go get three tired kids out of the bathtub (where they are actually playing nicely together) and put them to bed.

Good-night! =)